Tips for Incorporating Yoga into Your Wellness Routine
The time around the New Year presents a great opportunity to try something new. Whether you currently have a wellness routine or not, yoga is an accessible activity with both physical and mental benefits. It’s no secret that yoga continues to enjoy a bit of a moment in the United States, with more people than ever trying out this ancient practice and reaping its many physical and mental health benefits.
If you look around next time you’re out and about, you’ll probably notice yoga studios cropping up on every street corner in both urban, suburban, and rural communities, and yoga classes on the schedule at many gyms, community centers, and even in schools! The most recent Yoga in America study conducted by Yoga Alliance and Yoga Journal reported that yoga continues to gain popularity, U.S. with an estimated 36 million people practicing yoga in 2016, an increase of nearly 16 million since the study was last conducted four years prior. Furthermore, although many associate the practice of yoga in the U.S. with young women, the study revealed huge increases in the number of male yoga practitioners as well as the number of yoga practitioners over the age of 55, with an estimated 10 million men and 14 million individuals who are 55+ – that’s an increase of nearly 4 million people in each category since 2012! With Yoga Alliance continuing to advocate for broad-based diversity within the yoga community and accessibility for all, now more than ever yoga is proving that it’s an activity for everyone.
Medical, behavioral, and social science researchers continue to learn new and interesting things about the far-reaching physical and mental health benefits of regular yoga practice. The American Osteopathic Association states that some of the key physical health benefits of yoga include increased flexibility, stronger muscles, improved respiration and metabolism, improved circulatory health, and better balance. In addition, behavioral science research highlights a number of mental health benefits of regular yoga practice, including improved stress management, increased bodily awareness, an enhanced sense of calm and relaxation, improved focus and concentration (including for individuals with ADHD), reductions in symptoms of depression and anxiety, better body image and body acceptance, assistance with the physical and emotional aspects of chronic pain, and lower rates of alcohol and substance abuse. While practicing yoga in and of itself is not a “magic bullet” for every ailment and research into its benefits is still ongoing, many people indicate that regular yoga practice is one important element in a multifaceted approach to their overall health and wellness.
What is Yoga?
The word yoga in Sanskrit means “union” or “connection.” Broadly defined, this union can point to the union of movement and breath, the union of mind-body-spirit, as well as the connection between an individual and the universe. Although mostly performed as a secular practice here in the U.S., yoga is originally rooted in Hinduism and includes four main varieties:
- Karma Yoga: The yoga of service and deed
- Bhakti Yoga: The yoga of prayer and devotion
- Jnana Yoga: The yoga of wisdom and intellect
- Raja Yoga: The yoga of self-discipline and practice (which includes Hatha yoga)
Swami Vivekananda is often credited with introducing yoga to the west at The Parliament of World Religions at the 1893 World’s Fair here in Chicago, and through doing so began shaping yoga to encourage a positive reception by its curious western audience. Stefanie Syman, author of The Subtle Body: The Story of Yoga in America, notes that one of yoga’s most striking features is its ability to evolve and change to meet the cultural needs of the time and place, as well as the needs of the individual practitioner, and indeed, the process of yoga’s Americanization began all the way back in 1893. Flash forward over a century, and main variety of yoga practiced in the United States is Hatha Yoga, which includes a number of different commonly practiced subcategories, such as Vinyasa, Ashtanga, Iyengar, Bikram, and Kundalini, among others.
The broad category of Hatha yoga is simply the practice of moving the body with the breath. Attend a class and you’ll be guided through a series of poses or postures (asanas) in harmony breath-work (pranayama). Classes often involve a sequence of poses that begin gently while lying down, then move to seated poses, and eventually to standing and/or balancing poses. Based on individual needs and body differences, poses may incorporate props like yoga blocks, bolster pillows, or folded blankets for added support.
Is Yoga For Me?
The only way to tell if yoga is right for you is to give it a try, and as with any new activity be patient with yourself as you acclimate to the practice. (As always, consult with your doctor before beginning any new fitness activity). If you’re thinking about incorporating yoga into your wellness regimen in the new year, here’s some tips for getting started:
- Do some research into local yoga classes and instructors, including the variety of yoga they offer. As you get started, try an introductory class or experiment with taking different styles, instructors, and/or studios to see how they differ.
- If you feel especially nervous or apprehensive about getting started, consider booking a private or semi-private session to learn some of the basics. Many studios and instructors offer this as an option.
- Once you’ve found a studio or a class you like, many offer discounted class packs, which are a great way to build a consistent practice into your lifestyle. Consider committing to one or two classes per week as part of your self-care routine.
- Many people find it beneficial to also cultivate a home yoga practice alongside practicing at a studio. Keep your home practice simple at first. Aim for 10-15 minutes each day and play around with the time of day you practice. Don’t worry about investing in a lot of gear at first: A yoga mat and a throw blanket or beach towel is all you’ll really need to get started.
- As you practice, be aware of the tendency towards self-comparison and become curious about it. Many new yogis and yoginis notice this at first, especially in our visually-oriented culture. Remind yourself that your practice is your own, and it will look and feel different than someone else’s. If you find that you’re comparing yourself to others or feeling frustrated, remember that a core principle of yoga philosophy is compassion – and that includes compassion for yourself.
- Remember that each time you get on the mat will feel different. The key is to follow your breath, listen to your body’s limits, and remain curious about your experience.
- Get creative with ways to extend yoga beyond the physical practice, what some call “bringing yoga off the mat.” Remember that Karma Yoga is about engaging in unselfish acts, and Jnana Yoga is about wisdom, intellect, and self-knowledge. Consider reading up on the yamas and niyamas, which are the ethical principles of yoga. As you continue growing in your physical practice, layering in other elements from yoga philosophy can lead to an even greater sense of personal growth.
Happy Holidays, Namaste, and best wishes to you on your yoga journey!
Tips for Approaching Difficult Conversations with People You Love
With the holidays around the corner, many people are experiencing a combination of excitement and nostalgia for the festive season along with the sting of unresolved or unexpressed challenges with people we love. For some, this can lead to a sense of anxiety or dysphoria as the holidays approach due to feeling stuck and uncertain about how to proceed.
Saying or hearing the words, “We need to talk,” often provokes feelings of uneasiness, mainly because these words acknowledge the elephant in the room: Something is unresolved and needs to be addressed, and because it is unresolved it remains uncertain. Uncertainty is an emotional state we as humans are not huge fans of, so our natural inclination might be to respond with pre-emptive defensiveness or the belief that we are right in an effort to create certainty and stability, and perhaps also preserve our egos. Add to this the fact that we all have beliefs about conflict and confrontation that were shaped by our past experiences and cultural backgrounds, so for many people these words might also elicit feelings of fear, dread, and perhaps the tendency to avoid conflict in order to keep the peace.
But what if speaking or hearing these words could be reframed as a need for connection, closeness, and deeper understanding? Oftentimes we need to share our perspective, clear the air, or let someone know how we feel in order to engage in our relationships with greater authenticity and richness, and having difficult conversations – whether we are the confronter or the one being confronted – is a crucial element to relational depth.
If there’s a difficult conversation or issue on your mind that you’ve been avoiding, whether you choose to approach it before the holidays or mentally bookmark it for a later date, consider the following tips for effectively and respectfully expressing your point of view:
So much of a difficult conversation is how you prepare for it ahead of time. Try to remain reasonable and balanced in your expectations and let go of wording and rewording things in your head ahead of time with the goal of convincing the other person you’re right. Instead, ask yourself these questions to gain greater clarity into your perspective:
- What is the purpose or goal of this conversation?
- What is my ideal outcome? What are my wants and needs?
- What am I feeling about this situation as a whole?
- What part of the conflict or issue am I responsible for?
- Is there anything from my past being triggered by the current issue? If so, what?
- What assumptions do I have about the other person’s intentions or perspective? What might they be thinking and feeling?
- How am I feeling about having this conversation? How might the other person be feeling?
Practice techniques for self-soothing and centering ahead of time, that way they can be leveraged in the moment when you need them the most. If you’re feeling nervous about approaching the conversation or find yourself playing it out in your head, that’s a great time to practice mindfulness, deep breathing, or grounding techniques, which allow you to acknowledge your emotions and return to the present moment.
Set a Time and Place
Neuroscience research on multitasking has shown that it’s nearly impossible to attend to multiple things at once, so state your need to discuss something and work with the other person to find a good time when neither of you will be distracted:
“I’d like to talk to you about ______ and am wondering if you have time on Tuesday evening for us to sit down together.”
It’s also important to consider the physical space you’re in when approaching difficult or sensitive topics. Whenever possible, try to schedule your conversation for a quiet space that is relatively private to reduce any environmental distractions. If finding time and space is difficult, try not to become discouraged. For things that are important to address, finding the right time and space can be worth the wait. That said, there is no “perfect” time or situation that will guarantee the other person will have a positive reception to the conversation.
Get Started by Raising the Issue
This is the part many people often struggle with the most because raising a concern entails direct communication, emotional vulnerability, and the potential for conflict. In addition, many people are concerned about likeability and may also fear the uncertainty of the other person’s reactions. Consider the following strategies as you broach the subject you’ll be discussing:
- Approach the other person with curiosity, openness, and a collaborative mindset.
- Be clear and use specific examples while avoiding blaming or using accusatory language. State what you notice and try not to use absolutes like “always” and “never” as you give examples.
- Communicate from the place of feeling. Try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt by acknowledging the difference between intention and impact: “I felt _____ when you _____. It’s likely this wasn’t your intention, however this was the impact on me and I wanted to let you know so we could clear the air.”
If you become nervous, practice self-soothing and centering.
Seek to Understand and Collaborate
- Consider the following tips for working towards mutual understanding, respect, and resolution:
- Elicit the other person’s perspective and listen without interrupting.
- Acknowledge their experience. This is different than agreeing with them. Show that you understand what they’re saying: “What I hear you saying is _____. Is that correct? It’s important for me to really get where you’re coming from, even if we don’t see eye-to-eye.”
- Own your role in the conflict, even if it’s small: “When you said _____ I felt hurt and could tell I became defensive so I don’t think I was entirely open to what you were saying. I’ll try to be more open in the future and let you know how I feel in the moment.”
- Redirect the conversation if starts to go off the rails. “I think we might be getting into the weeds here and would like to refocus on the issue at hand.” Center yourself and breathe.
- If the conversation gets heated, it’s okay to set boundaries by agreeing to revisit the issue with cooler heads: “I’m not comfortable with the direction this conversation is going and think it’s hard for us to have a productive dialogue while we’re both so upset. Let’s revisit this later.”
- Again, use your self-soothing and centering techniques as needed.
- Start by asking for the other person’s ideas: “I think we have a solid understanding of where we differ. Based on what we discussed, what are your thoughts are on how we can move forward and work through this issue together?”
- Again, listen to their ideas openly and without interrupting.
- When sharing your ideas, use collaborative language whenever possible (e.g., “we/us” instead of “you/me”).
Wrap It Up
Recap what you’ve discussed, including solutions you’ve come to and areas where you may have agreed to disagree.
Express your appreciation for taking the time to discuss something that’s important to you, and share how doing so has impacted you: “I’m really glad we took the time to discuss this today. Even though we agreed to disagree on some things I feel like we each better understand where the other is coming from. This gives me hope that we can continue to discuss difficult things in the future so they don’t negatively impact our relationship.”
For especially difficult topics or if a conversation did not go as you hoped, it will be important to enlist the help of your support system. Reach out and debrief with a trusted friend or your partner. Again, practice self-care strategies and give yourself time and space to tend for yourself as you process and integrate this experience.
The Flip Side of the Coin
Sometimes people approach us with difficult topics and we find ourselves having negative reactions to being confronted. We may become nervous, defensive, or rigid in our thought process, and may sometimes find ourselves triggered by past challenges. If you hear the words, “We need to talk,” the very same strategies described above can be leveraged to remain receptive, calm, and self-aware when someone else raises a concern.
If you find yourself struggling to approach someone in your life about an issue that’s important to you, or having difficulty when approached by someone else, counseling can help you dig deeper into the experiences that have shaped your attitudes about conflict and assertiveness, learn skills for self-soothing, and strategize a healthy path forward. Fill out our contact form or call us at 773-512-4992 to find out how the therapists at Bergen Counseling Center can help you prepare to have difficult conversations with your loved ones.
Working from Home
Imagine—it’s Monday morning, and you wake up to the harsh sound of your alarm clock before reluctantly rolling out of bed. You make breakfast, grab some coffee, and then commute to work, which, in this case, happens to mean walking to your computer 10 feet away. The benefits of working from home are obvious—you can sleep in later by shortening your commute, and thus allot more time to be productive. Plus, who wouldn’t want to work in their pajamas?
Working from home is becoming increasingly favored because of the many benefits for both companies and their employees. The drawbacks of merging the home and the workplace, however, have tended to receive less attention. Working from home presents unique challenges, and it’s important to plan accordingly if your job allows (or requires) you to work from the comforts of your home. Here are some things to consider:
For many, commuting to work feels arduous; indeed, this is one reason why working from home is such an attractive idea. However, the ritual of beginning the work day is actually an important psychological factor in helping us to enter “work mode.” Consider the first thing you do upon arriving at the office each day. Few of us walk to our desk, sit down, and immediately begin working; rather, most describe the consistent habit of stopping by the corner store for a cup of coffee, or swinging by a coworker’s desk to chat. We might organize our desk, refresh ourselves on our to-do list from the day before, or seek direction from a supervisor before diving into a project. Many can attest that skipping these rituals can leave them feeling “off” for the morning. This is because these things serve as signals that cue other productive habits and can help adjust our mindset back into “work mode.”
So what happens when our work context becomes the same as our day-to-day context? What happens when instead of working at our desk, we work at the breakfast table, or in bed, or on the couch? Our brain receives multiple other signals which cue a variety of behaviors that are not work related, which can seriously impede our productivity or our ability to get into the work that we’re doing. To this end, those consistently working from home should try to set aside a specific space that is specifically designated for work. This should be a space where work-related behaviors occur, and other behaviors are limited—a cup of coffee is fine, but avoid eating your lunch or chatting on the phone there when possible. This will help ensure that you establish new rituals, and, in turn, allows your brain to associate this new context specifically with work.
In the same way that entering work provides us with an important change of context, leaving work cues our brain to shift gears and let go of the work day in order to return home. Working from home, however, blurs this boundary in such a way that many who work from home report feeling as though they’re “always on.” This is difficult not only for the person working from home, but for others in the home as well—especially kids. Children may not understand why their mom is at home, but not as easily available to play. This blurred boundary becomes confusing, and can lead to conflict when expectations are violated.
Additionally, the person working from home may feel compelled to continue working after the work day is actually over. Without physically leaving the work space, it can be difficult to psychologically “leave” work; we may tell ourselves “well, I’ll just finish this one project,” or “If this conference call runs long this time, it’s ok—I’m already at home.” And indeed, sometimes we may find ourselves staying late at work in the same way we may get “stuck” at the office from time to time. However, we should be careful about the message that this sends to our other coworkers, our supervisors, and ourselves. Just because we work from home, doesn’t mean that our home should always be a workplace. It is critical to retain a separation in order to maintain a good work/life balance.
Camaraderie, Collaboration, and Creativity
An additional challenge that comes with working from home or telecommuting is that the day-to-day can quickly begin to feel lonely. Making friends within the context of a shared office space helps keep camaraderie high, and can provide a sense of support during particularly challenging times at work. Humans are social creatures, and the everyday interactions with familiar faces creates a distinctly different work environment that one in which we are alone at home for the majority of the day. Beyond this, creativity and capacity for collaboration is jeopardized when you work alone; opportunities for brainstorming or informally bouncing ideas off of each other decrease significantly, and must be specifically sought out when needed.
To this end, those who work from home should be intentional about continuing to cultivate working relationships with their coworkers. “Out of sight, out of mind” should not be the rule of thumb for telecommuters; rather, those working from home may find benefits from using video chat to remain included in meetings, or choosing phone calls over emails when communicating with coworkers. Additionally, extra energy may need to be put toward maintaining social relationships—both in and out of work. Making plans with coworkers or other friends to connect outside of work can disrupt the monotony that can easily begin to creep in if we aren’t careful.
Remember Your Mental Health
The areas of concern above bring added challenges to things that are already challenging for many—work/life balance, conflict, negotiating expectations at work and at home, setting boundaries with coworkers and supervisors, mitigating the effects of isolation, maintaining social relationships, and generally striving toward a life that feels satisfying, rewarding, and balanced. The extra stress in these areas may not individually be enough to strongly impact your mental health, but together their effects may feel more prominent. It’s important to continue to check in with yourself from time to time to ensure that you’re living the life you want to live.
The Bergen Counseling Center is excited to announce a free 1 hour mindfulness workshop at our Ravenswood Chicago location. The mindfulness workshop will take place on Saturday, November 4th from 10am-11am at our Ravenswood office location and is open to both current clients and the general public. The workshop will be led by Bergen Counseling Center staff psychologist and resident mindfulness guru, Dr. Carolyn Versical. Dr. Versical will introduce the principles and benefits of practicing mindfulness, as well as, walk through practical mindfulness exercises to implement in daily life. This workshop is perfect for both those who have been curious about mindfulness and also those who want to refresh and reconnect and refocus on their present experience.
Space is limited! If you are interested in attending the free mindfulness workshop, contact Dr. Carolyn Versical to reserve your spot via email or phone. Please feel free to click the link below to download and distribute the mindfulness workshop flyer. Come join us on Saturday, November 4th to learn more about mindfulness and how it can contribute to your health and well-being.
What: Free Mindfulness Workshop
Where: Bergen Counseling Center – 1945 W. Wilson Suite 6113, Chicago, IL 60640
When: Saturday, November 4th 10am-11am
“I just wish I could be happier.” Many clients who come in for therapy describe their life as one that is lacking—lost relationships, missed opportunities, or even just not enough time. Other clients may be able to point to many happy moments, but still find themselves feeling disconsolate for reasons they cannot understand. The pursuit of happiness looks different for each of us, but is common across the human experience. Whether trying something new or diving into an old hobby, we generally seek to secure so form of happiness to bolster our day-to-day lives. Yet despite this ubiquitous search, many of us struggle to find what we’re looking for.
Fortunately, many studies have demonstrated that there is one key ingredient that can lead to a happier lifestyle—gratitude. Gratitude has been shown to be a significant predictor of altruism, resilience to trauma and stress, improved relationships, and decreased feelings of loneliness. Naturally, these changes have ripple effects to our sleeping habits, our grades—even our immune system! This, in part, is because being grateful requires a mental shift; instead of lamenting the things we lack, we are adopting a positive outlook by noting those things for which we are grateful. This small change can often begin to hit the “reset button” on our mood, helping us to pull out of the negative nosedive into which our brain’s autopilot may have fallen, restoring some balance and positivity to our mental state.
Gratitude is an easy thing to express, but all too often, we only go through the motions. We briefly thank the person who gives us directions or offer a half-hearted nod to the person who holds the door open, but these small gestures lack the “behind the scenes” piece that makes gratitude so powerful. Instead, try practicing gratitude through one of the following methods:
1. Start a Gratitude Journal
One great way of practicing gratitude is to literally list out a few things for which we’re grateful in a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal can be anything you like—a notebook, a note on your phone, or even just some scrap paper (nobody said you had to keep the journal after you’ve written it! Having a journal to reflect on later is great, but the exercise itself is most important.). Sometimes taking the time to sit down and job down a short list or paragraph’s worth of things for which we’re grateful not only helps us to brainstorm the things for which we’re most grateful, but it also helps us get into the habit of mindfully noticing those things to begin with. Gratitude journals can feel awkward to begin, but the process can be as involved or simple as you like–you can start from scratch, or find are prompts online to get your started. There’s no wrong way to approach the exercise.
2. Take a Gratitude Walk
Try this—look around you right now and notice what you see. Sunshine outside? Pictures of your kids or loved ones? Are you at your desk at a job that you earned? Are there people around you who care about you? Sometimes it’s helpful to physically stand up and take a short walk, observing the world around you and looking for things for which you feel grateful. This can an especially meaningful way of turning a sour mood around because it combines mental exercise with physical; by standing up and taking a short walk, you can symbolically step away from the sadness or frustration and attempt to turn your mood around by trying to adopt a positive outlook and connecting with your feelings of gratitude.
3. Write a Letter of Gratitude
Another useful exercise is to write a letter to someone to whom you feel especially grateful. Set aside 5-10 minutes to just write without worrying about grammar, clarity, or spelling; this letter isn’t one you’ll deliver (unless you want to!). Rather, this letter is an opportunity for you to express your gratitude to this person without holding anything back. Many people choose to write to a friend, a relative, or a loved one, but sometimes the most powerful gratitude letters are ones that are written to ourselves. Taking the time to thank ourselves for the little things we’ve accomplished or the things that we’ve done for which we’re most proud can grant us the credit that many of us may not be in a habit of doing. Did you take steps toward your goals today? Did you do anything to take care of yourself? Those of us who focus on achieving perfection may overlook small steps toward progress, but we deserve recognition for those too. If nothing else, you can express gratitude to yourself for caring about your happiness and emotional state to make it a priority by setting aside 5-10 minutes to practice some self-kindness.
There are many others ways to connect with our feelings of gratitude, but they all require some mindful intentionality. We must have the ability and the awareness to recognize when our mood is starting to take turns for the worse, and have the motivation to step outside of that and practice feeling gratitude in spite of the negativity–in some ways, this is the most important time. Doing this on our own isn’t always easy—we struggle to connect with the feelings because we’re just so sad, or our life feels in such disarray that we can’t seem to identify things for which we’re grateful.
Counseling is a great way to discuss these things in much more depth and detail, as well as explore other ways of self-kindness that can help us lead happier, more fulfilling lives. If you’re thinking about counseling, consider reaching out for a brief 15-minute consult by contacting Bergen Counseling Center at 773-512-4992 and feel grateful to yourself for caring enough about your happiness and wellness to take that first step in connecting with someone who can help.